Alex Left Behind Three Brothers: Family Grief After Suicide

Suicide Prevention Series

August 3, 2026

Alli Skrbek, Author

Tom O'Connor, Publisher

Last week, I wrote to you about "The Depth of the Grief I Carry After Losing My Son to Suicide." This article is about how my son's suicide affected his three brothers.

The whirlwind of emotions a person goes through after the loss of someone to suicide can seem unbearable, and everyone will experience grief in different ways. Sibling grief, in particular, can often be forgotten, misunderstood, or overlooked.

Grant

Today, I took my almost 15-year-old son, Grant, school shopping. As I watched him pick out clothes, styles almost identical to what his big brother, Alex, used to wear, a flood of memories returned. I remembered taking Alex on those same shopping trips, hitting multiple stores because he had such a specific look. He would always try everything on, asking, "How does this look?"

Grant is different. He doesn't try them on, and he doesn't ask for my opinion; he just knows what he likes, and it's always what Alex would have chosen. On the drive home, the walls came down. Out of all four of my boys, Grant is the most reserved, but today he opened up to me about how much he misses his brother. He told me he struggles with the memories and the tears, admitting he doesn't know any other style because Alex always helped him choose his clothes.

Jack

Watching my 9-year-old, Jack, struggle with PTSD since losing his older brother, Alex, to suicide has been devastating. He is plagued by insomnia and separation anxiety, often waking in a panic, terrified that the rest of us have also died. My boys are grieving in vastly different ways, but for my younger 2 boys, Jack and Barrett, the trauma manifests in overwhelming anger, anxiety, and sleeplessness.

Jack cannot grasp the severity of what Alex was going through; he only knows his big brother is gone. Despite my efforts to explain that this was never his fault and never a choice, he remains trapped in confusion. I still catch him texting Alex, sending messages of love and longing into the void, waiting for a reply that will never come.

Little Barrett (Bear)

Barrett was just 18 months old when we lost Alex, but the bond they shared was so profound. Even living states away, Alex made sure to be present, FaceTiming Bear sometimes three times a week. Those calls were often from his work van, which Bear lovingly called his 'vroom vroom.' Even now, he still asks to call Alex, thinking he's just out on a job.

It breaks my heart that Bear has grown up watching us mourn. He's become so incredibly sensitive. When he sees my tears, he'll gently ask, 'Are you sad, Alex?' We gave him a bear made from Alex's clothes that he calls 'Alex Bear,' and he swears it still smells like his brother. He talks about dreams where Alex visits him to play while he sleeps. I find myself wondering if he truly can see him, if their bond is strong enough to reach across to the other side. Maybe they are still playing together, after all. 

Alex left behind three brothers.

Our Family

Losing Alex to suicide has been the most fracturing experience our family could ever endure. This journey is agonizing, and while we are moving forward, it is undeniably hard. We talked about how much Alex loved his brothers and his mama, and we held onto the painful truth that he would still be here if he had been sober because we know Alex wouldn't have ever put a gun to his head sober- it just wasn't him. We also talked about addiction and how much it changed Alex, but we don't want him remembered that way because it wasn't who he truly was. Sober Alex was absolutely amazing in every way. We shared our memories, and in the midst of the grief, we found a small, quiet space to connect.

We Are In Therapy 

As our family navigates the aftermath of losing my son to suicide, therapy has become our lifeline, a safe space to hold the weight of what has been left in our laps. While these sessions provide us with the tools to manage PTSD and the heavy, recurring waves of grief, they do not erase the reality of his absence or the pain that remains.

Each of us is carrying this burden in our own way:

For me, I am learning to navigate my own complex PTSD, particularly the sounds that serve as triggers, such as fireworks or slamming doors.

For my 9-year-old, Jack, he is learning to manage his own PTSD and find ways to breathe through moments of intense fear, specifically the fear that the rest of our family will die when he cannot see us or when we are sleeping.

My 14-year-old, Grant, is finding his own path through this, staying active and opening up in small, meaningful ways. Because he is on the autism spectrum, he navigates these emotional struggles with his own unique set of communication challenges.

Family Dynamics Research

Research into family dynamics following a child's suicide reveals severe, long-lasting impacts on surviving family members. Mothers often experience prolonged, intense mourning and profound maternal guilt. Surviving siblings (the "forgotten mourners") face elevated risks of mood disorders, PTSD, and suicidal ideation.

Maternal Impact. Mothers bereaved by their child's suicide frequently report longer grief, complicated by intense self-blame. The sudden, stigmatized nature of the loss can lead mothers to withdraw socially, compounding their trauma. Mothers often shift their focus entirely to protecting the surviving children, which can result in over-vigilance or smothering, and in the neglect of their own self-care.

Surviving Brothers' Impact. Research shows that sibling survivors are often overlooked in post-vention (post-suicide support), despite high rates of depression and anxiety. Surviving brothers may feel pressure to "replace" the deceased brother or take on new roles within the family structure. Sibling bereavement by suicide is a recognized risk factor for mental health challenges. The remaining brothers require careful monitoring and professional support to process the loss safely. 

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Read Alli's bio by clicking her icon at the start of this article.

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