Rebuilding from the Ashes: Michael's Journey of Recovery and Reconnection

November 3, 2025

Jonathan Russell, Author & Therapist

Reviewed by Tim Lineaweaver, Subject Matter Expert

Research on adverse childhood experiences shows that having a parent with substance use disorder (SUD) is the primary cause of childhood trauma. 

It's essential to recognize the remarkable resilience of children, even in the face of significant challenges. They have the capacity to overcome and thrive, despite the potential for physical or emotional abuse or neglect from parents with substance use disorder (SUD). This resilience is a beacon of hope, demonstrating that recovery and healing are not only possible but achievable. 

It's vital to understand that while experiencing parental substance use (PSU) may increase the risk of developing SUDs in children, it's not a guarantee. The resilience of these children is a beacon of hope, showing that recovery and healing are not only possible but achievable. This hope is a powerful motivator for both the individual and those supporting them on their journey.

Author Jonathan Russell is a Therapist and Business Development Coordinator at BlueSky Behavioral Health in Danbury, CT, and a recovery Podcaster. He will discuss his therapeutic work with one of his clients, anonymously named Michael.

Jonathan Russell's Story

As a recovering addict and alcoholic myself, I've come to understand that my addiction was, in many ways, a form of self-medication. It wasn't just about the substances—it was about the unresolved emotions, patterns, and lessons I had unconsciously absorbed in childhood.

Growing up, I learned a great deal from my caregivers—some things that served me well, and others I had to unlearn. I love my parents deeply, and we share a phenomenal relationship today. But that wasn't always the case.

My mother struggled with anxiety, and my father, a Vietnam veteran injured in combat, wrestled with his demons—mainly anger and emotional drinking. 

As a child, I internalized two things: that it was normal to live in a constant state of anxiety, and when emotions became overwhelming, it was acceptable to explode—even if it left you drowning in regret afterward.

Developed A New Way To Live

That emotional climate shaped how I coped with the world. However, it wasn't until I embarked on my recovery journey and faced my truth that I realized I had the power to transform my life. I had to develop a new way to live—one that didn't involve numbing or reacting, but healing and responding. Recovery is not just about sobriety, it's about the potential for profound personal transformation.

12-step recovery programs like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous have greatly enriched my journey of recovery. These programs, with their structured approach, focus on admitting powerlessness over addiction, seeking help from a higher power, and making amends. 

However, my healing journey didn't stop there. I also delved into my relationship with spirituality, established a consistent meditation practice, and began to view health as a holistic pursuit —not just about treating symptoms but about transforming the self.

Use The Same Approach With My Clients

While medication can be a valuable tool in early recovery to help lessen symptoms, the deeper work—the real healing—comes from within. We heal by reconnecting with ourselves, re-examining our past, and creating new emotional frameworks that support long-term recovery and a life of authenticity.

Michael's Background

Now in his early 50s, Michael spent most of his life trapped in the shadow of a father he both revered and feared. His father, an emotionally unavailable yet magnetic presence, lived a fast and reckless life, surrounded by alcohol, drugs, and a revolving door of relationships. To young Michael, this lifestyle was synonymous with being a man. His father was his hero. But that hero worship came at a cost.

Without realizing it, Michael began to mirror the very same behaviors. He learned to drink to numb pain, manipulate women to avoid intimacy, and bury his emotions under a mask of bravado. His father's untimely death left Michael both devastated and directionless. With no stable male role model to guide him, he spiraled further, turning to cocaine and alcohol to fill the growing void.

Michael's Challenges

Michael's addiction led to a series of devastating losses:

• His marriage collapsed under the weight of infidelity and emotional distance.

• He lost his house.

• His relationship with his daughter became so strained that it reached the point of estrangement.

• He experienced a devastating relapse after a brief period of abstinence.

• Most recently, he was faced with the compounded grief of losing his mother during the depths of his active addiction.

By the time we began working together, Michael was emotionally bankrupt, spiritually numb, and unsure if recovery was even possible.

My Approach With Michael

Recognizing that Michael's behaviors were rooted in deep childhood trauma, we implemented a trauma-informed approach to his recovery. This approach, which is based on understanding and responding to the effects of trauma, emphasizes safety, trustworthiness, choice, collaboration, and empowerment. It's not just about treating the symptoms of addiction, but about understanding the underlying trauma and its impact on the individual's life, and addressing it directly in the recovery process. Our work centered on:

• Inner child healing: This process involves helping Michael identify the unmet needs and wounds from his childhood that had been driving his self-destructive patterns for decades. By acknowledging and addressing past traumas, we can begin to heal the 'inner child' within him, leading to a more stable, healthy emotional state.

• Cognitive restructuring: Examining and challenging the narrative that his father's lifestyle was worthy of emulation. We worked to separate admiration from truth, allowing Michael to recognize the harm behind the hero worship.

• Grief processing: Creating space for Michael to begin processing the unresolved grief from both his father's and mother's deaths.

• Building Self-Compassion: By shifting his internal dialogue from shame and guilt to acceptance and growth, Michael was able to treat himself with the kindness and understanding he deserved. This journey of self-compassion is a crucial part of the recovery process for many individuals, and we need to understand and support this aspect of their trip.

  
  

Recovery is not just about getting sober-it's about untangling a lifetime of internalized beliefs and emotional suppression, and self-compassion is a powerful tool in this process.

Michael's Outcomes

Despite all he's lost, Michael is now in the strongest position he's ever been in on his recovery journey:

• He completed a 90-day residential treatment program.

• He's back in the workforce—his first job in over five years.

• He's actively engaging in therapy and recovery communities.

• Most importantly, he has begun reclaiming his identity, not as his father's son, but as himself—his true self.

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Jonathan Russell has a Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA) from Manhattanville College and a Master of Arts (MA) in Mental Health Counseling from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. He obtained his New York Office of Addiction Services and Supports (OASAS), Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Counselor (CASAC) certification from the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence. 

You can connect with Jon at jonrussell1882@gmail.com

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